Thursday, 26 June 2014

Frilly Lace and High Heels put me in my place

Having wash all of Jane’s underwear, dried and folded it, before returning it to her draws, I made a start on re-cleaning all of Jane's shoe collection, including all of the boxes.
I was pleased to have been assigned these two tasks because they involved me handling two of Jane's most intimate items of clothing. For me at least, women's shoes and underwear do most to set them apart from men, and shout out femininity. It is for this reason that being specifically asked to clean and look after them for her, gave me such a submissive buzz. Clearly, Jane intended to use these two tasks to put me into a submissive situation and to reinforce in my mind her position of power over me. Added to the fact that she did so while I had just pleasured her orally but that she was denying me, only excited and aroused my submissive mindset. 

I contacted Jane to tell; her that “her housemaid is working hard to maintain standards as instructed and is thinking only of you”. She replied ” So pleased to hear that, you’ll be getting a new batch of undies to clean when I get back”.

This tells me that Jane is becoming more accepting of my submission and much more comfortable expressing her dominance by having me carry such tasks for her. The fact that she intends that I should continue this task when she gets home, is music to my ears and puts me even deeper under her magical feminine  spell.

Saturday, 21 June 2014

Moving on

Jane has gone away for a few days on vacation in the sun. I have been left at home with instructions to wash all of her underwear by hand to freshen it up, and to clean and dust her whole shoe collection. In addition, I am to maintain all standards of domestic chores while she is away and to pay particular attention to washing the bathroom tiles which I neglected to do. You know what it's like when someone inspecting for cleanliness purposely wipes their finger across a surface, and then inspects their fingers for dust or dirt. Jane did just that in front of me and declared "you have failed". I hate those words, feel that I have not done my best and worse have let Jane done. "i'll make sure that I wash the tiles done properly while your away" came my slightly embarrassed response. "See that you do", Jane's short reply.
Having not been allowed an orgasm for over three weeks, Jane had me pleasure her orally the night before she went away, telling me that she was allowing me to taste her sweetness and to think of her while she was away. There was no suggestion that I would be released after, so I obediently cleaned her up and we went to sleep. I was hard and so aroused, she was sleepy and content that I would remember who was to be obeyed and thought of while I did my chores this week. This is the second time in succession that Jane has left me denied any orgasm after she has had her own. What's the saying "two somethings, don't make a something". Well you know what I mean. 
The feeling of denial and continued encouragement to submit to her will is leaving me increasingly desperate to please and serve her at all times. This is the encouragement and feelings I have wanted to feel for so long.
First task cleaned
and drying in the sun.

Thursday, 6 March 2014

Positive moves........!!!!!

Despite recent posts that may have given the reader a sense of despair or despondency, my own WLM has in recent weeks seen Jane growing far more expectant with me, not showing any signs that she is anything but pleased with my submission. In fact, I would go as far to say that Jane has accepted my submission and seems intent on keeping me far more focused on remaining devoted and attentive to her needs at all times.

Apart from several other more overt signs, Jane has taken to keeping me teased and aroused far more often, but leaving me denied, longing to satisfy and please her. I don’t think there is any doubt that Jane is not aware of the control she holds over me, but now she seems more comfortable with exerting that power too much greater effect. As a result, I find myself longing to be with her, to be close to her, longing to “serve” and be used by her, to make her happy. It’s is maybe this combination of both our changing attitudes and demeanor towards each other, that sees us increasingly adopting relative positions of “dominant” and “submissive”.

What is so nice about this evolution is that it is happening in a loving, and mutually pleasing way. Many more overt signs of my submission are now so entrenched in our daily routines, that they have become so natural that Jane has either accepted or expects them to take place. Clearly things like my obedience and attentive behavior, are just expected by Jane, both of which I think have given her the confidence to grow more demanding and expectant but in a loving way.

One such occasion recently, Jane had arrived home from work wearing a knee length shift dress, ultra shiny pantyhose and heels. It is maybe this combination, but especially the silky nylon that encased her legs and showed off her painted toe nails beneath, that combined with everything else about her, that shouted out feminine to me. I was immediately entranced by her femininity, and the knowledge that she knew about my special weakness and desire for her when dressed in this way, engendering in me an increased desire to submit to her.

Having served her dinner, cleared away and cleaned the kitchen while she relaxed, I was feeling an extra buzz from submitting to her in this way. I was on a submissive high, knowing that my beautiful wife was relaxing and would expect me to do everything for her.

When she was ready to move upstairs to get changed, I followed her,
dutifully carrying her, shoes, coat and handbag. Just this act alone, following those deliciously nylon covered legs up the stairs, carrying her things, was enough to see me aroused and straining inside my jeans. As we approached the landing, the phone rang, to which Jane moved to answer in our bedroom. It was a family member, so Jane sat herself on the bed, swinging her legs up onto the bed and propping herself against the pillows, so that her legs were now stretched out on the bed and she was in a comfortable position. As the conversation developed it was clear that this wasn't going to be a quick call, but nor did it seem that Jane was in any hurry to foreshorten the conversation.

As Jane was preoccupied on the phone I carried on, carefully returning her shoes to their correct box in the wardrobe and hanging up her coat. I must admit that I was becoming increasingly mesmerised by the sight of Jane, so feminine and sexy, just ignoring me. Her sexy legs and feet, still covered in ultra shiny nylon, that only accentuating her shapely legs and continued to drive me deeper into a state of submissive desire. I began to get undressed, ready to get changed for bed, until when only dressed in my underpants, I had an overwhelming desire to kneel myself down on the floor next to the bed, my head level with Jane’s outstretched feet. In doing so, my eyes were now level with Jane’s delicate nylon covered feet, but initially I resisted looking at them. I was first more concerned to see Jane’s reaction to my kneeling at her feet. As she only smiled and carried on talking, seemingly unaffected by this semi-submissive act, I took satisfaction from the fact that she was content that I should be there.

No sooner than I had I knelt down, Jane crossed her left leg over her right, crossing them at her ankle and bring her toes only inches from my face. By this deliberate act, Jane had focused my attention on her nylon covered feet, and began to play with my mind, first opening all of her toes beneath the sheer nylon, and then twisting and bending her whole foot closer to may face. My eyes immediately went to Jane’s feet, as she teased and played with my submissive mind, her red toenails only reminding me that she was in charge and that my submission was complete. I reached out with my hands and clasped her foot, and began to massage it for her. It felt so soft and sensual.

What I thought would be a relatively short call, turned into about thirty minutes, thirty wonderful minutes that I found myself kneeling at Jane’s feet. Thirty minutes, during which Jane seemed almost oblivious that I was there, seemingly ignoring me, but at the same time receiving a protracted and seemingly enjoyable foot massage. During that time, Jane uncrossed and re-crossed her feet several times, so that I could give equal attention to both of her feet.

Needless to say that by the time Jane had finished her call and hung up, I was already well on the way to being in subspace. Only coming round slightly to re-position myself in front of Jane, as she sat herself up and twisted her legs round to sit on the side of the bed, Jane began to play with and tease my nipples. Again, knowing what effect this would have on me, Jane was sending me deep into sub space, taking away any doubt that I would not answer her questions with anything less than total obedience and the truth that she would want to hear.

After, maybe only a few minutes, these interrogations rarely extend beyond that, I found myself being snapped out of my sub space torpor and being ordered to undress Jane. Unzipping her dress, carefully removing it and hanging it up neatly, carefully sliding off her pantyhose, each leg in turn, removing her bra and then thong. Then dressing her in PJ’s, before she told me it was time to go downstairs. 

I remain obedient, attentive and devoted to Jane at all times. She has kept me this way, increasing the frequency and intensity of my arousal each time, sometimes she talks to me and on other occasions does so in silence, my understanding of what’s happening and my desperate feelings of submission, not diminished as a result.

I was going to write something very male chauvinistic, about how great it would be for more women to realise how very little effort it can take to satisfy their submissive man's needs, but then thought better of it. How about something like, men should realise what it is that their wife's want, and learn to accept and enjoy what they can realistically expect from their wives.  

Does that make sense? If you'd have asked me 7 years ago what it is that I would have wanted wanted from "my" WLM, it would look a lot different from what it does today. I might still have some of those feelings or desires, but for the vast majority of couples they are pure male fantasy. 

One thing, however, that would remain constant is that I would want Jane to enjoy my submission and for me to feel and sense that she wanted to take me into subspace. But because she wanted to, as much for what she gets from my submission. as much as it is about because I enjoy and get aroused by that feeling. 

Thursday, 27 February 2014

Highs and Lows

In response to my last post, comments from Eric M, Respecting Mistress and Anon, illustrate the two ends of the spectrum when it comes to establishing a WLM or FLR.

Both Eric and Respecting have it seems attained a certain level of success in their relationships with their wives and may well have what they “wished for”, while Anon remains clearly disillusioned and still wishing for more. My heart goes out to Anon and can only hope that he can find someway to enjoy a form of submission to his wife, even if it is not to the level that he once hoped for. My envy goes out to the other two, but they do give me some hope for the future.

I mentioned "highs and lows", and so coincidentally did Eric M. For any of you reading this that have spent any length of time travelling down the road towards a WLM or FLR, you will I suspect recognise and understand exactly what this means. From the highs of experiencing unsurpassed pleasure and arousal of being put into subspace by your wife or girlfriend, to the feeling of despair and misery when things are not going well. 

Clearly it would be unfair to blame our wives or girlfriends for creating the lows, but whatever the cause every couple in a developing WLM or FLR will experience “highs” and “lows”. I guess this is not surprising when you consider how communication, that should play an important part of moving forward together, breaks down or as in many cases is either non existent or very patchy to say the least.

As we all know, all couples are different, each a set of individuals with different histories, different upbringings, desires and ideas, and each reacting differently to different levels or ways of communication. The simple thing is that we are all different, and there is no right or wrong way of doing this. Of course, there are some ways more right than others, but I shall leave that to others to try and explain.

What Eric M also touched on in his comments, was that success, however measured, takes hard work, and can take a very long time to achieve.

I myself have spent the last seven years, yes seven, trying to communicate and gently cajole Jane into accepting my submission, and for her adopt a much more demanding and expectant attitude towards me, seeing herself as a more confident and controlling wife, to my loving, devoted, attentive and most obedient husband. When put like that in words, you can maybe see why she has resisted for so long. Not so much what I've become, but what I would like her to become. It also begs the question have I been right in doing what I have, or should I just have accepted Jane for who she was, is?

Rightly or wrongly, I have done what I've done now, and there's no turning back. In all that time, I have tried to remain consistently attentive and devoted, making myself the best husband I could be, and hoping that Jane would grow into the more dominant and demanding wife that would encourage my continued submission. A wife that would see herself as a more sensual and sexy woman, using her feminine charm to keep me under her spell, and take enjoyment and pleasure from seeing me devote myself to her pleasure. Maybe that’s a slightly “romantic” or bias mans view, but it’s one that I truly believe is the best way of a WLM working for us. 

Wednesday, 26 February 2014

“Be careful what you wish for”

How many times have a read the words “be careful what you wish for”. Always written in an attempt to supposedly “warn” the reader “to be careful what you wish for” because somehow what you start, and therefore desired in the first place, is taken way beyond what you had in mind. Maybe it’s being spanked harder and more frequently than you had envisaged, going beyond arousing to just darn right painful. Or maybe its giving up control to your wife or girlfriend in the bedroom, only to find yourself being dominated and control in day to day life, finding yourself solely responsibility for all the household chores and made to feel subservient at all times. “Be careful what you wish for”, something that truly submissive men actually really want. We want our partners to take things beyond and outside our control, we want to feel that she is enjoying her power so much that she goes to greater and more lengths to establish her dominance in the relationship, and to keep encouraging your submission so that you feel helpless and besotted by her feminine power and charm.

There is, however, I suspect, a far more common interpretation and meaning of what “be careful what you wish for” for the vast majority of submissive men battling to make there relationship into one that is Female Led. And that interpretation is “be careful what you wish for”, because it is very unlikely that what you wish for, will come true. I’m, of course, speaking as someone who has first hand experience of this, and would like to warn others who maybe thinking of going down this long and almost certain rocky road. The other phrase that springs to mind at this point is “highs and lows”, but I’ll come back to that later.

Now I’m not saying that all men will regret making the conscious decision to explore the idea of making their relations a FLR, or even that confessing your desires and intentions to your partner will end in disaster. In fact, I’m sure that some couples will end up with a happy medium and both equally enjoy their newfound roles in life. What I am saying, however, is that whatever it is that you “wish” for it is highly unlikely that you will end up getting it.

Now please don’t think that I am writing about this subject because I am bitter or that I am somehow unhappy about my own relationship with Jane because I’m not. I’d just like men out there, who think that offering their partner a chance to make theirs a FLR, to think again, if they think that its going to end just how they envisaged it would. Despite all the letters and internet sites who publish letters and accounts to the contrary, I suspect the vast majority of attempted FLR’s or WLM’s end in failure or fall a long way short of where the man once “wished for”.

You could write a book about this subject, and many have, discussing the why’s, how’s, and where fore’s of this subject. The simple truth is that as a submissive “man” it is very unlikely that the vast majority will ever get “what they wished for”, and is not destined to live out their lives in the way that they once thought would be possible.

I’m in no position to give answers here, as I too find myself caught between happiness and a frustrated desire to want so much more. And I’m not just talking about how I’m treated by Jane, or whether she keeps me teased and denied, or punishes me, or what she expects from my submission. Above all these things, it’s more about getting a feeling and real sense that Jane wants to encourage my submission, at least in the way that she has molded it over the last few years. And no matter which way you look at WLM or FLR’s there is a very strong sexual element to it, that must be addressed one way or another.

If you “wish for” anything, it should be that your wife or girlfriend fully embraces your desire to submit to her and that she in turn will have fun, and enjoy expressing her “dominance” over you, no matter how or to what extent this manifests itself. Because without this, everything else is secondary and is in danger of feeling less and less about your submission and more about just going through the motions for “your” benefit.

So if you ever see those words “be careful what you wish for”, spare a thought for all those poor souls who wished so hard for something, but that it never really happened. 

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Explaining Denial to a confused or reluctant partner

If you had to explain to a reluctant or confused wife or girlfriend, why it was that you wanted to be kept teased and denied over a prolonged period, would this description be a good way of explaining it?

"My denial at the very point that you have been pleasured is how I long to be kept, with you empowered and in control, using your feminine sexuality and my deep desire to submit, to encourage me to remain devoted and attentive to you at all times."

I would be interested to hear others views on this. Jane has never really explained why she finds denial so difficult, so it leaves me to explain why it's so important to me.

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Trade Off

Two months have past since my last post, but despite the impression I may have given in my last entry, things have been moving forward in a positive way.

I think it’s fair to say that despite my frustration at the lack of denial or any other form of more obvious encouragement from Jane, she is in so many respects embracing our new relationship as most certainly female led.

Of course, as many others and I have said before, all couples are different, all people are different, so there is no one definition of what constitutes a female led relationship. However, there are a few criteria I suspect that need to be present in all, if only to satisfy the needs of the man. I refer, of course, to a sense and feeling that the woman at least wants to encourage her husband’s submissive behavior and that she enjoys his attentions and devotion. Someone please tell me if I am wrong.

With or without any open communication or dialogue, Jane and I have reached what I would call a “middle ground” in our relationship, a place where we are both reasonably comfortable with our respect roles.

I am most certainly expected to remain attentive, devoted and even obedient to Jane at all times, and she is free to call on me to perform any service or to obey her orders when she feels so inclined to instruct me.

Despite all my preconceived ideas and thoughts about what I would like for my own WLM, I have come to accept, as I suspect many other men in my situation have to, that their wives will eventually lead the relationship in their way, and that you are obliged to follow their lead. The very premise of any true submissive man’s desires must involve submitting to the will of a woman, and only then will he be truly happy or content with his relationship. Of course, there are all sorts of degrees of happiness or contentment. It’s also worth mentioning that these also change over time.

I should probably mention that I am three weeks into a period of denial, instigated by Jane after my repeated and more recent, ever more open and almost desperate attempts to be kept this way by Jane. I’m not sure if this is right or wrong, or even if there is a right or wrong way in this situation. We are repeatedly told that topping from the bottom is a no no, equally that a true submissive man should only be happy with submitting fully to a woman, and that if she wants him to orgasm then he should gratefully accept that she is making that decision for him.

As you may have gathered, if you have read any of my blog, I do not subscribe to that theory, well at least not in regard to orgasm denial.

For me at least, I have been more than happy to submit to Jane in so many ways, to have accepted the role she would have me fulfill, and to push aside many of the things that I would have enjoyed or wanted to experience.

It has taken me many years to get past the idea that if you have to ask for it, it’s not going to feel real. Experience and a yearning desire to want to feel overwhelmingly submissive and subservient to the woman I love, has led me, however, to be more demanding in this respect. It is why, maybe only now, that Jane seems more comfortable with keeping me teased and denied, accepting that her own sexual satisfaction and orgasms, should not necessarily be linked to mine. Or that at least she can understand that my denial at the very point that she has been pleasured, is how I want to be kept because it makes me feel that she is in control, and using her feminine sexuality and my desire to submit, in order to encourage and maintain my submission.

In the absence of Jane’s willingness or desire to want to explore the sexual or more kinky side of being in a wife led relation, I am trading off my submissive desires and fantasies in order to give her what she wants most, for me to remain devoted attentive and loving towards her at all times, while she keeps me obediently subservient and submissive, kept teased and  aroused by her feminine sexuality but denied any orgasms that would break the spell she keeps me under.